LONDON: And you thought sex is always fun and happening before vows? No, not true.
It doesn’t end when you take your vows, rather that is when your story starts for the better, says a study.
According to psychotherapist and couples’ sex expert Esther Perel, sex in the early stages of a relationship is often spontaneous, after marriage, it becomes more of a “creative enterprise,” but that’s no bad thing, reports the Independent.
Many couples believe it’s essential to try and rekindle the flame or recapture the magic of when they first got together, but Perel believes that’s an error, even though “the romantic ideology is tenacious, but the fact of the matter is, it’s impossible to recreate the feelings you both had when first getting to know each other, so it’s a waste of time trying."
Instead, one should focus on the positives brought about by being in a stable, committed relationship.
She even added that you must cultivate the erotics and give meaning to sex.
Rather than hoping spontaneous sex will just happen, you must consider both your marriage and sex life as something that demands focus and attention.
If you know what turns you on and off, you can use that knowledge to shape your sex life and be in control and see the magic take over. Once you take ownership, you begin to create a valuable connection.