Are you that person who springs into action the moment you hear somebody needs help? Kudos to you
for being there for everyone, but if you struggle to say no despite being in a difficult situation yourself, you may be suffering from what experts call the super-helper syndrome and this is going to be detrimental for you.
It causes exhaustion, disappointment and even resentment. Delhi-based relationship coach Shreya Dhawan shares three ways to handle the situation better.
Start small: In bigger life situations, you would like to be there for loved ones, however, in the smaller ones, be practical. Remind yourself that they’ll be taken care of or will be able to manage without you. Decline people’s requests firmly, but politely.
Latent feelings: Be your own therapist and try to understand where this need to always show up comes from. Is it pure compassion or laced with subliminal insecurity about being accepted as a nice person? Many of our compulsive actions have roots in unmet needs. Get to the bottom of this.
Get ahead of guilt: Putting yourself first is not selfish. The guilt that comes with saying no to people becomes a toxic mess in the long run, creating turbulence in our bodies and mind. Remember, in saying no, you are coming from a place of honesty rather than a ‘yes’ driven by compulsion.