Mental health issues among children are becoming increasingly prevalent. Community studies in India estimate the prevalence of psychiatric disorders at around 6%, while school-based studies frequently report rates exceeding 20%. The most common conditions include anxiety, conduct disorders, oppositional disorders, depression, and ADHD. Beyond these diagnostic labels, mental health professionals frequently encounter children exhibiting behavioural issues rooted in a lack of belongingness to their social and nurturing environments.
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Estranged children
A twelve-year-old boy who ran away from home was brought in for mental health intervention. He was going through a period of academic decline after developing a tendency toward increased screen time indulgence. He was a good student before that. Hence, parents imposed controls on screen time. In response to harsh parental controls, the child exhibited significant oppositional behaviour and physical aggression, eventually fleeing with a sum of money. He returned only after his funds were exhausted, citing feelings of alienation stemming from the disciplinary conflict.
This case serves as an example of how discipline, when implemented without creating a feeling of belongingness, can result in severe adverse reactions. Many living in adverse family and social situations go through the same feeling. Their search for a place where they feel safe and comfortable may drive them to dangerous behaviours.
The tragic incident in Ghaziabad, where three minor girls jumped from a flat to their deaths, raises serious concerns about the environments our children inhabit. Interestingly, the theme for this year’s Children’s Mental Health Week is ‘This is My Place’. This theme emphasises the importance of creating inclusive, nurturing environments where children feel safe, valued, and supported—whether at home, in school, or within their community.
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Creating the right
spaces for children
We must ask ourselves: are we making conscious efforts to provide developmentally appropriate spaces for our children? Are we creating environments suited to their growth and inspiring them to engage with those spaces with a sense of belongingness? Adult-created environments must foster a sense of belonging; otherwise, children will seek out their own spaces. While these alternatives may feel pleasurable or comfortable to them, they can often be harmful to their character formation.
Children should feel welcomed and valued in a place they can call their own. For some, home may not provide this due to various challenges; however, schools and other environments can step in to offer a sense of belonging that is vital to their development.
When children feel included in peer groups, it significantly boosts their well-being, whereas exclusion can lead to isolation. Establishing the right social connections provides a sense of connectedness that reduces stress and anxiety. Ultimately, being accepted for who they are fosters a deep sense of belonging, which is essential for their growth.
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Tips to foster a sense of belonging
Here are several strategies to help foster a sense of belonging in children.
Establish rituals and routines: Create consistent shared time as a family through family time, bedtime stories, or play. These activities help children feel accepted and loved.
Create a safe emotional environment: Ensure the home or classroom is a non-judgmental space where children feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions.
Show genuine interest: Be inquisitive about their interests and passions to ensure that they feel seen and valued.
Facilitate peer experiences: Encourage shared activities like team sports or collaborative games to help children feel part of a group.
Celebrate heritage: Honour a child’s cultural values to strengthen their identity and provide a grounded alternative to digital content.
Validate emotions: Help children acknowledge both positive and negative feelings so that they feel heard and understood.
Encourage hobbies: Support personal interests to help children find their place in the world with dignity.
Build positive relationships: Help children develop strong peer connections to foster a collective sense of community.
Spend quality time: Focus on creating a space for active listening that encourages children to share happiness and conflicts openly with responsible adults.
Respect developmental stages: Allow children to live according to their developmental age while respecting their unique identity.
Let every child live like a child in places where they feel a healthy sense of belonging, and that will form the core of strong mental health.
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The author is a senior consultant psychiatrist at Medical Trust Hospital, Kochi and a former member of the State Mental Health Authority.