I will start with a man I met during the pandemic. I consider him one of the best models of resilience.
He was an ambitious tourist taxi driver, highly rated for his pleasant manners by the agencies he served. Tourists appreciated him and tipped him well.
In 2019, after driving cars owned by others as a paid employee for years, he bought his own car on loan and tied up with agencies. Things went well — he paid his EMIs on time, saved up, and planned to buy a second car.
Then, in March 2020, the pandemic hit. The shutdown devastated him.
Though social life limped back slowly, tourism and his usual driving opportunities did not. Tormented by uncertainty, he became depressed, anxious, and suicidal. He sought mental health consultation. His was a psychological reaction to an abnormal crisis. He needed to accept it and find ways to adapt — that was the real challenge.
His wife offered an idea. She volunteered to make chips and snacks. His duty was to sell them in housing colonies and on roadsides.
He would park and display the homemade products inside the open boot of his car. There were no restrictions on such activity then.
To his surprise, demand was good. Soon, orders even came from bakeries. This gave him a lifeline during the dull economic phase.
On follow-up, he shared how he had adapted and recovered — how clarity gained helped him act on his partner’s suggestion. He had bounced back excellently psychologically. As tourism revived, he also bounced back to active driving. He also continued supporting his wife in the new business.
This man displayed true resilience. This is a learnable, dynamic skill of adapting to stress, recovering from setbacks, and growing through high-pressure challenges. He fell, but gained balance.
SKILLS THAT FOSTER RESILIENCE
Facing challenges, failures and stress is unavoidable. It is quite natural that they may upset the flow of life. What matters is the ability to bounce back.
In jobs, there may be demands for correction or negative feedback. The threat of job loss may exist. In academics, failure or not achieving expected success is likely. In business, financial setbacks are possible. Difficulties can arise in every part of life. It is important to adjust to what has changed and give yourself energy to regain balance. Only then can you ignite the spirit to rebuild constructively. Each setback offers an opportunity to grow.
Here are some skills that can help you bounce back.
REGAIN BALANCE: Shift perspective and solve problems under sudden pressure.
ADAPT AND ADJUST: Stay ready for adversities and challenges.
TRUST YOUR POWER: Believe in your skills to influence tough outcomes.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF: Choose self-compassion over harsh self-doubt after a setback.
STAY COOL UNDER FIRE: Manage frustration and stay calm when stress peaks.
SHARE, DON’T HIDE: Reach out to trusted people instead of suffering in silence.
BALANCE, NOT BURNOUT: Protect work-life boundaries and log off on time.
SLEEP, HEAL, GROUND: Get good sleep, monitor stress in your body and manage it.
FEEDBACK IS FUEL: Take constructive feedback as growth, not as a personal attack.
SPEAK UP SAFELY: Voice honest concerns calmly when it matters.
PAUSE TO RECHARGE: Take short, regular breaks to recharge and refocus.
STAY HOPEFULLY REALISTIC: Keep a positive outlook even when plans fail.
RESILIENCE IS NOT ENDURANCE
Resilience does not mean silent endurance. One should not tolerate persistent distress, injustice, or adversity.
When coping is not enough, distress may become unbearable and prolonged. It can disrupt sleep, productivity, relationships, or daily life. It may even lead to clinical depression or anxiety. Professional help may then be necessary.
An environment that constructively facilitates discussion of mistakes and sharing ideas for correction without fear helps people bounce back. Openness to listen helps the system rectify, and resources that actively foster mental health, wellness, and peer support must be made available.
IT IS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY
It’s ok not to be ok, if it sparks the drive to bounce back. The life lessons thus gained are invaluable. We see students who crumble forever after not scoring expected marks. We see individuals emotionally shattered by a single negative remark or criticism. We see businesspersons withdrawing completely after a financial setback. Being numb or dwelling on the blame game does not help. There must be spirit to come back with vigour. Life will be better then.
The writer is a senior psychiatrist at Medical Trust Hospital, Kochi, and a former member of the State Mental Health Authority