“Denigration of women has ruined our society”-Kandukuri Veeresalingam
When I decided to enter wedlock, I knew I would have to fight with many within my family circle on the most debatable topic 'dowry'. I, however, never had a pinch of clue that the system is so deeply rooted in the so called sophisticated marriage bureaus too.
It was not until I approached a bureau in the recent past in search of a bride. I stepped in and elucidated my profile to the executive who gave me a set of forms to fill up.
“What are your expectations in terms of dowry?” I heard the voice of the executive when my pen ran on the registration form. My mother interrupted and said that I hate the system. She continued to support her views, which made me recall a saying-- ‘a woman is the biggest enemy of a woman.’ My disgusting look finally sealed the conversation.
You must now be wondering that I am against dowry as it is crime. Well, not just because law books tag it under offence, I am against this entire concept as I strongly believe it’s incorrect to associate women with currency notes.
At a point of time when women are said to be treading all great paths and even entering the space, is it not a matter of shame to label dowry under tradition?
While the history makes it evident that Kanyashulkam (Telugu word that defines the concept of paying money to bride’s family and getting her home) sealed the dreams of young women, it apparently changed its form as dowry and continued to project women in wrong light.
The topic just doesn’t limit to family gatherings and marriage bureaus. In fact, whenever I mark my attendance at several weddings, my ears hear the word dowry as the amount received becomes the hot topic and matter of pride. Some call it prestige issue and some label it as tradition. Are we living in a barbaric society where we even enter relationships based on give and take of cash and yellow metal? All these rhetoric questions continue to haunt me.
I shall not discuss the statistics of brides being burnt for not giving dowry, nor do I give lectures of ‘no dowry,’ and fall into the same league who raise dowry demands in dark.
I know I can’t change the mindsets of people but why should I follow them when I believe that people who accept dowry are 'donkeys of third order?'
Therefore, I decide not to take dowry. If you feel the same, raise your voice; let the whole world call you a villain, you will still be the hero of your miss perfect.