KOCHI: Since 2017, retired doctor couple Madhavi and Ramachandran have been living in the Bless Home senior living facility in Vazhakulam, near Aluva. After staying with their daughter in the United States for several years, the couple, now in their 70s, started missing their hometown. “We were happy and engaged in the US. But we always longed to return,” said Madhavi.
Staying at home in Thrissur proved a difficult task. “We decided to stay at home and hired a home nurse. However, the nurse did not have the expertise or knowledge to take care of my husband who suffers from a neurological disease. Thus, we opted for a good care home in Ernakulam,” she said.
The recent death of filmmaker K G George at a care home revived the debate on life at such facilities, and the social stigma associated with it. However, experts and residents of care homes reckon that assisted living is here to stay in Kerala, and that it is the best option available for the well-heeled.
The deliberation assumes greater importance considering that Kerala is ageing faster than the rest of India. As per 2021 figures, 16.50% of the population is above 60 years of age. This is expected to exceed 20% by 2031.Babu Joseph, chairman of Bless Retirement Living in Kochi, says the family value system where children and their parents lived together has changed. “Earlier, children used to take care of their parents in their old age. The situation is different now. Life expectancy is increasing. Moreover, parents have only two or three children. We cannot expect the children to leave better opportunities to take care of their parents. Society should accept the reality,” said Joseph.
B R Brahmaputhran, CEO of Alive, a senior living home in Thiruvananthapuram, said assisted living is a practical solution as many parents do not want to be a burden to others. “It is a comfortable choice for both parents and children. Unfortunately, there is a stigma associated to it in our society,” he said. Old-age homes are passe, says Brahmaputhran. “Old-age homes and retirement homes are different concepts. People choose old-age homes when they have no other option. Senior living homes have every facility,” he said.
Everyone may not afford assisted living facilities. There are different options available. People can choose to stay by paying an amount that ranges from Rs 25-Rs 60 lakh, which is partially refundable, or by paying a monthly fee. Joseph Alex, founder and managing trustee of Signature Foundation, where K G George spent the last five years of his life, said society’s mindset must change. “Elderly parents live alone in the majority of houses in our state. At care homes, the elderly live together as a community. The parents, as well as children, can stay stress-free. However, people keep on criticising the concept,” he said.
“People who criticise the changing culture believe that these children are living happily in other countries. They are attached to their parents, and they ensure that their parents are not alone at home and they receive better care.” People in their old age need expert care and monitoring.
Senior living homes can provide them with proper care. “The personnel at care homes are trained and qualified. There are doctors and nurses,” said Joseph. Dr Madhavi vouches that people receive better care at retirement facilities. “If we stay at home, we have to hire a person to help us buy daily essentials, cook and clean the house. Also, it is more difficult if there is a person with an illness. From my experience, it is better to stay in a senior home,” she adds.