BENGALURU: She is 29 and single. Her colleagues often tease her and ask, “When will you get married? You are getting old,” She smiles and replies “I am married. To a fruit.”
At 11, Swastika was married to the indigenous hard-shelled Bel fruit, which is said to have non-rotting properties that makes it sustain for decades. The fruit at the time of the wedding is ripe and green. “I don’t think he is green anymore. Of course he was handsome and I guess he still is,” says Swastika laughing.
“My husband is somewhere back at home probably in the puja room, as mom says, ‘I haven’t seen him for years’,” she added.
Swastika Pradhan hails from Darjeeling in North Bengal. As an architect, now based in Bengaluru, she did not quite realise how her culture surprised many in the city.
Swastika remembers herself draped in Nepali traditional attire - dhaka choli. “I vaguely remember my wedding. I was acquainted with pujas since a young age so I thought that was just another puja, now when I see the pictures, I find it so funny. I was not at all serious on my wedding day,”she recounts.
The prominent colors of the bride’s attire are red, white, black and maroon. With a matching set of bright red bangles and red veil, her husband, the fruit, put vermillion sindoor on her. An extra person, is required for the sindoor ceremony of course.
A white cloth is vertically stretched over the head of the bride to make a long isle. The tip of the Bel fruit is dipped in Sindoor and a sindoor line is drawn on the ‘maang’, parting of the hair to symbolise her marriage. The marriage is usually done in a pair of two at an odd age like five,seven,nine,11 and 13 before the girl hits puberty. Swastika was paired with her older sister. The Bel fruit, a symbol of Lord Kumar, considered an eternal bachelor, is the bridegroom.
Swastika belongs to a Hindu Newar community – the historical inhabitants of Kathmandu, Nepal, a large number of whom reside in India.
The ritual is the same as that of a Hindu marriage involving ‘sindur potay’. It is usually a two-day ceremony that begins with a purification ritual and ends with ‘Kanyadan’. The ritual is conducted by a priest called ‘deobhaju’ among Hindu Newars and ‘gubhaju’ among the Buddhist Newars.
The Buddhist Newar and Hindu Newar communities follow a traditional ceremony called Ihi or Bel Bibaha, where a pre-adolescent girl child is married to the Bel fruit (wood apple), which symbolises Lord Vishnu and Kumar.
The tradition has been in practice for over hundred years now. There are many versions to why this ritual is conducted but the primary one is to combat sati. Back when the ‘sati’ was practised and women threw themselves into their husband’s funeral pyre, this tradition was born. Being married to the God saved the widows.
Though it is still largely practised in India and Nepal, there have been a lot of changes over time.
Initially, a Newari-girl would be married three times. The first being the Bel marriage, the second being Bahra Tayegu, that is, being married to a sun god. Bahra Tayegu is a twelve-day marriage ceremony where a Newari girl between the age of seven-13 is kept in a ‘gufa’ (cave), away from the light and male contact for 11 days. This is done to ensure her purity.
Other versions include remaining fertile, staying protected from evil spirits and from tyrannical rulers who would bespouse young girls.
On the twelfth day, she is married to the Sun god which is followed by a grand celebration. The third-marriage is with the real bridegroom when she comes of age. Many Newaris do not follow all the three marriages now. The ‘gufa’ marriage is usually omitted. Swastika, who was married to a fruit at the age of 11, did not marry the Sun God.
A common tale suggests that a raid by Bengal warlord, Shamsuddhin Ilyas in the 14th century lead the community to believe that marrying girl child before puberty would save them from dishonour.