On Autistic Pride Day, families of children with autism open up about milestones that need to be celebrated and cherished
Radha about Arvind
Although Arvind, a 25-year-old with autism, has not picked up speech and writing skills, he learnt to express his thoughts and emotions through typing. His only strength is his linguistic ability and he is very good at one liners. He also possesses a special quality by which he is able to observe a person and describe their qualities. He loves to be amid people, but when there are discussions which raise doubts about his potential, he exhibits bizarre behaviour, and if the crowd is understanding, he is happy.
Priya about Sanjhay
Even the smallest tasks he does makes us very happy. Be it getting ready for school, putting on slippers while leaving, was a big deal. My son is a low-functioning child; it took years for him to even register these routines. Toilet training was the most difficult. He gets fits too, so it takes even more time for him to learn. Going beyond all this, learning to convey his needs to us was a big step. He is nonverbal; so, he communicates with actions. That he has learnt to express his needs makes us feel very proud.
Kalai Selvi about Krishna Arjun
Ten years ago, my son wouldn’t speak to anyone but us. Now, he’s 18 and totally opposite — very social and freely moves with everyone. He voluntarily starts conversations. Earlier, when asked how he was, he would just answer with a “hmm”, now, he is able to hold a conversation with them. We see that as a great achievement. His education too is something we are proud of — he studies himself, he has written the 12th Board Exam himself. We see these as things to be proud of.
Bharathy Sankar about Shravan
Last week, Shravan was craving bread. He wanted to get it by himself. Previously, he had gone alone and got milk on two occasions but his dad would follow him (but he wouldn’t know). This time, before I could say anything, he had left! I panicked. I realised he didn’t take the money. He returned with the bread, went again, paid and brought the change. Going all alone — in the lift, to the shop, locating the aisle, checking the expiry date, standing in queue, at the billing..etc. each of these is a challenge to him! Though he’s verbal, the struggle to communicate and express is immense. This is indeed a milestone unlocked.
Lakshmi Balakrishnan about Kannan
It was his music journey that had us in awe at every turn. He used to be a very hyper child. When we went to a temple once, he heard the nadaswaram and went and sat down to listen for 30 minutes. We’d never seen him be so calm. We realised that he likes music — that it offers sitting tolerance. We started music therapy, where kids like him would just be in the presence of music. There was not much change. Then we sent him to a regular music class. There we were told that he was singing well. That’s when we realised that he doesn’t need music lessons specially designed for autistic children; he was able to do well in a normal class itself. It’s been four years. He plays the keyboard too. Now, he just listens to YouTube videos and learns to play songs, even songs like Thirupugazh and Devaram.
Sujata Patnaik about Stuti
My granddaughter Stuti is hearing impaired and has nonverbal autism. On several occasions, she has delightfully surprised me with activities unexpected of her like befriending a stranger, collecting shrubs, making a bouquet and presenting it to her principal, and discovering how to shut down a laptop. Recently, she showed me the QR code and asked me to scan it. A few days back I fell down before her. She searched for an ointment to apply on my bruises, and her concern simply surprised. Who said that an autistic child cannot love anyone?
Sudhakar Manivannan about Dhruv
During the pandemic, Dhruv had to miss school, his therapies, and forgo social interactions. The result of all this manifested as sensory overloads, anxiety spells, and severe meltdowns. It began to take a toll on his health. Once the pandemic eased, and school started, Dhruv began showing marked improvement in his behaviour. His meltdowns have significantly decreased, and even when some episodes do happen, he shows extreme restraint and a lot of effort to control his temper. We are extremely proud of him for this progress and his school for what they’ve done. Of course, growth and progress is not a straight line. But we take hope from every inch of progress we make, and celebrate every milestone.
Inputs by Kannalmozhi Kabilan and Vaishali Vijaykumar