They are moms as well as dads for their children. Despite facing innumerable difficulties, these single women have taken life head-on and borne the dual responsibility with dignity and determination. Ask a working mother how she’s doing and you probably will be lied to. We’ll say “fine,” but the response in our head - the honest one that we wouldn’t disclose to a coworker or boss - likely leaves much unsaid.
For me, the truth would sound something like this: "I’m busier than I’ve ever been in my life. I wake up thinking about work, power chug scalding hot coffee while I make a marginally healthy breakfast for my kids, take them to day care, work frantically all day, fret over what’s for dinner, bath the kids if there’s time, eat after they’re asleep and collapse into bed thinking about work and feeling guilty that I’m not spending enough with my kids.’’ Apparently, I’m not alone.
According to a study, 62 per cent of working moms say they’d prefer to work part time. Only 13 percent with full-time jobs say that it’s an ideal situation for young children, the report states.
Working moms also are more likely to feel stressed and as if there aren’t enough hours in the day. Four-in-ten working moms with kids under 18 years old say they always feel rushed.
For Rajshree Garg 50, branch head of Syndicate Bank, mother of Sujay Garg, says, “ Sujay is a very understanding child. He has never been too demanding and is always cooperative. He is a special gift God has given to me.” Madhavi Naidu, 50, mother of Kritika Naidu works for Revathi Creative Communication Private Limited, believes that her daughter is her only asset. “ I tend to get very busy with my work, but Kritika, like a very responsible daughter, take care of everyone. The time we spend together is small but qualitative. She has being a wonderful daughter and I feel immense pleasure in being recognised as he mother in society,” she says.
SINGLE MOTHER
Living in a society that is male-dominated is very tough, especially for single women, but if you are not happy then there is no point wasting your time in crying and complaining. You have to make a decision to live a dignified life.
For Kalpana, 50, separating from her husband was the only option especially after difference of opinion gave rise to regular arguments and confrontations.
‘I took this step at a very late stage of my marriage.
But I had to do this because of my son. He was suffering and I had to take a stand,’’ said Kalpana, a doctor.
``You need to have willpower to face the world and automatically everything will fall into place,’’ she added. Living with the single tag is not easy as it comes with the baggage of dual responsibilities.
Vajida Khan, 49, employee at Max New York Life Insurance is a proud single mother of Aamani Kilaru. “ My life revolves around her. Life without her is next to impossible. When Aamani was in school I would feel proud to be recognized as ‘Aamani’s mother’ because she was an allrounder.
In all the highs and lows of life Aamani has been there with me.” Shipra, 50, (name changed) lost her husband on the war front when she was 39. She had two sons.
``After his death, I knew I had to be both mom and dad to them. Hence, I took a professional job and acted like a dad and at home, while I used to cook for them, like a mother. We used to go for outings, picnics and movies together,’’ said Shipra, a bank manager. Neera Chopra, 43, mother of Miss India World Pooja Chopra, is a single mother because she had to make a choice between her husband and two daughters as her husband was not happy with the fact the she could not bear him a son.
`` My world was my two little daughters and I did everything to give them whatever I could afford.
It was because of them I am alive, because they were in this world because of me and it was my duty to look after them properly,’’ Neera said.
These mothers are the role models for their kids, who appreciate the amount of hardships and toil their mothers put in while bringing them up. Considering the years of love and care dished out by our mothers since before we can recall, maybe Mother’s Day gives us the perfect opportunity to remember.
Go on, splash out a little. Let her rest her weary feet and mind this Sunday. If you haven’t got mega money, don’t stress. Most mums love and notice the tiny things. A simple ‘I love you’ will undoubtedly suffice. Mum definitely is the word.