HYDERABAD : While the world is moving towards the idea of treating everyone equally, one place that is comfortably moving backwards into the dark ages are the committee members and their ridiculous rules inside apartment complexes.
I thought it was just my apartment until I read the news about maids and delivery boys being asked to use a separate lift. In some cases, they were even fined and punished. Seriously, who implements these rules?
Since it’s a newspaper, I can only call them ‘losers’, but your apartment committee members are the most irrelevant people on this planet, also known legally as senior citizens. Whenever I come across one of them, my first thought is: who in their right mind would want to become the President of an Apartment Association? It must be a guy who could never manage to become the class monitor, or the captain of a college team, and when he couldn’t become a manager at work, he finally retired, used his pension and dowry collection from his son’s wedding to buy an apartment, and gave one last shot at being in a position of power. So that his grave reads, “Mr Srinivas, 1947-2024, General Secretary of Sky View Apartments.”
If you give them a truth serum, I think this would be their response to all the rules:
Different lifts for maids and delivery boys: “I grew up in a society that was very casteist, but these new-age folks have read Ambedkar and listen to John Lennon. We need someone to show them the difference between us and them and bring all these evils back into society. Otherwise, they might start thinking we’re all just... human.”
Dogs and pets are not allowed: “No one loves me, hence I cannot bear the sight of a dog parent receiving so much pure love. Also, I’m allergic to happiness.”
Heavy items not allowed in the lift: “The lift is quite capable actually, but it needs servicing, and I used that amount for a new nameplate and new furniture for my unessential office. So I’m afraid your cylinder will have to take the stairs.”
No entry into the terrace: “Terrace is a happy place, and I am a promoter of sadness. Seeing all that joy will hurt me, and I will have to question myself about why I can’t have any fun.”
No loud music: Even though I take off my hearing aid at nights, I can feel the happiness around and that won’t let me sleep.
So next time you come across one of these rules, just remember — it’s not about logic or safety; it’s about ensuring that someone, somewhere, feels a little more powerful and has never been loved.
The Why Junction
Sandesh Johnny
@johnnykasandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)