KOCHI: Call it a paradox, a faultline, an anomaly. In a country where men are handed out privileges, life seems to be pinning down men more than women. At least that is what an August 2023 study by the International Institute for Population Sciences (IIPS) says.
The IIPS analysis showed that the rate of suicide among Indian men is 2.5 times than that of Indian women. To arrive at this finding, the institute dived into the 2023 National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data prepared over a period from 2014 to 2021 that had adult men topping the chart in the number of suicides across all age groups, marital status, education, or profession.
This means that men form a vulnerable chunk of the ‘one in every seven Indians’ that an Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR) data put as being on the mental health radar.
This just adds to what is termed the gender paradox — though women exhibit more suicidal thoughts than men, the number of men dying by suicide is more than that of women. The trend is not a new turn in times: it has been so at least for the past five decades in India, just that the numbers now are more seen than before.
“The suicides are often triggered by stress due to workplace competition, family issues, usage of alcohol and other substances, etc. Also, though the ‘breadwinner’ concept has come down considerably with more women going to work, it is still prevalent in villages,” says Dr B Padmakumar, professor at TD Medical College, Alappuzha.
The suicide figures in Kerala can be roughly estimated to be composed of 70 per cent men, and the rate of failed suicides is also almost the same. However, associated with the problem is a core point. Men are reluctant to seek help. “Most men seek professional help when a woman is prompting them to do it,” says Dr C J John, senior Consultant Psychiatrist, at Medical Trust Hospital, Ernakulam.
According to Dr Sreeja, consultant psychologist at Ananthapuri Hospital, Thiruvananthapuram, the difference in suicide rates shows the ways psychological problems affect men differently. The issues are usually sparked by occupational and domestic stress, which leads to substance abuse, substance-induced psychosis, mania (overactivity, increased energy and irritability), etc. Porn and gadget addiction, especially gaming, which leads to sleep deprivation and emotional problems, also cause depression.
Despite several such instances among men, their psychological issues are the least reported. Many view them as a mark of ‘waywardness or lack of responsibility’ of the man who should be the one leading the pack.
The state of affairs hints at how the patriarchal makeup of society can harm the very gender it patronises. The very evident downslide of this is the late identification of mental issues among men, that too after they start affecting work performance and show up as aggression, alcoholism, etc.
The reason is men do not talk, or worse, accept they have a problem, say experts. “Women are more open conversing, while men are a bit closed. That is why women report their thoughts more than men,” says Dr Raji K Mathew, a wellness trainer at a school in Thiruvananthapuram. In her 12 years of experience in schools, she has found that girl students open up more about their suicidal thoughts whereas a boy, who never spoke about it, ended up dying by suicide.
“Society, with its overwhelming patriarchal values, does not provide room for talks that show a man’s vulnerability. The privilege men experience due to patriarchy will lead to higher gender expectations,” says feminist thinker and writer Dr Rekha Raj, implying patriarchy is not only misogynistic but also misandrist.
“The problem is the need for men to be ‘a man’. In a society like India, men are not expected to be sensitive. But this adds an additional load on men, of continuously proving their masculinity, ruling out the acceptance of their emotional side,” she says.
Media too have a great place in reinforcing gender roles, she says, citing examples such as the recent hit Animal.
However, the onus of breaking these stereotypes is on the men, explains Dr A K Jayasree, head of Community Medicine at Government Medical College, Kannur. “It is the men who have created a world of privileges for them,” she points out, urging the men to move out of the sphere of privileges even if it upsets set social roles as stipulated by one’s family or even society.
The Gen-Z factor
When it comes to the matter of mental health awareness, Gen-Z men are a tad better than those in other age groups, says Raji. “But awareness alone is not enough. Despite having good intellect and better access to resources, they are unable to handle several life situations,” she points out.
The Gen-Z boys too have a fetish for the ‘macho-man’ image, she adds.
“Blame the movies, social media, and aggressive video games for this. The flip side is they become unsure of themselves when a conflict arises in their interpersonal relationships. This leads to them falling for peer pressure to use cigarettes, alcohol, or even drugs,” she says.
The Way Ahead
So, yes, men too are victims of patriarchy, that is why world over June is observed as Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month as a step towards addressing how men can be told it is okay to be human.
Addressing mental issues among men is thus a deep-rooted social problem, changing which would also require visionary parenting and mentoring, says Dr Jayasree.
“I don’t think our homes have equal spaces for boys and girls. Our education system, too, handles this badly. Yet the scope of such discussions has expanded to some extent now,” she says, adding that a proper sex education programme in schools could help clear gender role views.
Men should be encouraged to identify that the additional ‘unwanted’ stress and conflicts they face are because of the privilege they enjoy, says Dr Rekha, flagging the need for sufficiently qualified experts who could spark changes in men to take off their ‘heroic cape’ and speak their mind and its issues. And what is it that a good talk cannot solve, experts ask?