My son is studying in the Class IX. Since childhood, he has never been interested in studies. His grades are very poor. He is always distracted by other activities and is always running around. He finds it difficult to learn and also makes a lot of spelling mistakes. What do you think has to be done?
The first thing you need to do is find out what is stopping him from studying. Is he very distracted, irritable, depressed or is he having difficulty in concentrating, reading and memorising?
You need to rule out an attention deficit disorder and a learning disorder. For this, your son will need to consult a trained professional and undergo a psychometric test.
This could tell you if there is an underlying depression or just a lack of interest. If it is depression, then you need to analyse why and find a solution for it.
My daughter seems to have a problem with everything I say. She keeps shouting at me, which in turn irritates me and I start abusing her. The situation just worsens. How can I rectify this?
First find out the root cause of the problem. From where it is stemming out of is critical for your well-being and to have a healthy relationship with your daughter. Most often we delay sorting out issues and that leads to a lot of misunderstanding. The unresolved issues can cause a lot more stress and pain in the long run. It is very critical to your relationship for you to be careful of what you say to your daughter.
Sorting out the root cause is the first step to getting clarity. You need to give and take in your relationship. Then build on this relationship with a good supportive communication between the two of you. Never repeat the same mistake and pitfalls.
Dr Kannan Gireesh is a Chennai-based consultant psychiatrist, psychotherapist and counsellor. Students can SMS their queries to (0) 98414 16422 or send an email to queries.edex@newindianexpress.com