What did I learn from my father? It’s this-work with integrity and succeed with integrity It is indeed a great experience for me to remember my parents: my father who lived 103 years and my mother 93 years. For both of them, I was their last child — a dear, lovable child, among my four brothers and a sister. Ours was a full-fledged joint family — and even now continues to uphold that tradition.
When Prabhu Chawlaji asked me if I could write about an important event in my life which may touch some hearts because of its poignancy or happiness quotient, what popped up in my mind was the present dynamics of the nation and the concerns of millions of our citizens. This question led me to share the love I have seen from parents, most of the time — and simultaneously, I was compelled to learn with parental concern.
Let me share that event that happened in my life more than seven decades ago.
M y f a t h e r , Janab Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen, taught me a great lesson when I was a young boy.
It was just after India got independence.
At that time, panchayat elections took place at my native Rameswaram in coastal Tamil Nadu. My father was elected its board member.
The same day, he was also made the president of the civic body.
Rameswaram was then a beautiful place with a population of around 30,000 people. If my father was elected president of the panchayat board, it was not because he hailed from a particular community or spoke a particular language or belonged to a particular economic strand.
He was elected only on the basis of his nobility of mind and for being a good human being.
I would like to narrate one incident that took place on the day he was elected president of the panchayat board.
I was at that time studying in school. Those days we did not have electricity. We used to study under lamps that were lit on rationed kerosene. I used to read the lessons loudly. One night, I heard a knock at the door. Those days, none in Rameswaram never used to lock the door.
Somebody opened the door, came in and asked me where my father was. I told him that he had gone for evening namaz (prayer). At this, he said, “I have brought something for him. Can I keep it here?” I shouted for my mother to get her permission to receive the item. But she was also on the namaz, and gave me no response. I finally asked the person to leave the item on the cot. After that I continued with my studies.
Which meant, I resumed reading aloud from my study books, fully concentrating on my studies.
Soon, my father came in. He saw a tambalum (plate) kept on the cot. “What is this?” he asked me. “Who has given this?” I told him that somebody came and had left it for him. He opened the cover of the tambalum and found there was a costly dhoti (angavastram), besides some fruits and sweets. There was also a slip that the person had left behind. The sight, overall, upset my father. For the first time in my life, I saw him very angry. It also turned out to be the first time I got a thorough beating from him. I got frightened and started weeping. My mother came in, embraced and consoled me. At this, my father came and touched my shoulder with affection and advised me not to receive any gift without his permission.
He quoted an Islamic Hadith, which states that, “When the Almighty appoints a person to a position, He takes care of his provision. If a person takes anything beyond that, it is an illegal gain.” Then he told me that it is not a good habit to take gifts. For, they are always accompanied by some purpose — and are dangerous that way. “It is like touching a snake and getting the poison in turn.” This one lesson stands out always in my mind even now when I am in my seventies. That good old incident taught me a valuable lesson for my entire life. It got deeply embedded in my mind. Even now, when a person appears before me with a gift — of whatever shape or colour — my body and mind shudders.
I would like to mention one more thing. Manu Smriti states that “By accepting gifts, the divine light in the person gets extinguished”.
Manu warns every individual against accepting gifts for the reason that it places the acceptor under an obligation in favour of the person who gave the gift.
That ultimately it results in making a person to do things which are not permitted according to law.
Even as I am now in the 80th orbit around the sun, this bit of childhood inspiration has a special significance in my life. Often the unique lessons one derives in the early days of life are the governing force that steer the value system in all thoughts and actions.
So, do not be carried away by any gift — especially which comes with a purpose. Through that, one definitely loses personality — greatly.
— The writer is a former President of India