Mindspace

Conquering my fear of speaking

During my childhood days, whenever guests turned up at our house, I would furtively resign to my room.

Shiv Sethi

During my childhood days, whenever guests turned up at our house, I would furtively resign to my room. Once my mother noticed this repetitive behaviour, she admonished me. In her eyes it was certainly an act of indecency. But on the flip side,  I had a fear of the people, which she didn’t realise. A psychiatrist might have diagnosed my case of demophobia.

With the passage of time, I made a leap from school to college. But my inhibitions about talking to strangers remained. My reticence had become  a big reason for my social ostracism. When the boys and girls of my age had a considerable number of friends, I remained a solo bird.

Then one day, while teaching us Shakespeare’s play King Lear, our English teacher asked me to read it aloud. Reading aloud in front of my classmates was nothing less than walking bare-footed on smouldering embers. But the wish of my  teacher was tantamount to a divine command.

Pulling all my senses together, and with utmost fear, I began reciting the lines of Edgar. At the end of the class, I received the biggest compliment of my life from a teacher. Patting my back with affection he remarked, “you really have a dramatic voice. You are very good at modulation”.

A few days passed by. Then, the same teacher put forth another demand. Referring again to the “dramatic quality” of my voice, he suggested that I participate in an upcoming debate. I became nervous. I had always found it a Herculean  task to say even a few words in the public.

I tried to refuse, but the teacher refused to accept my refusal. The very next day I was called to the college
auditorium to start the practice. I was given a topic and asked to speak. When I mounted the stage, I started shaking. But the teacher’s faith in me gave me a good amount of motivation.

Thereafter, I began attending practice sessions daily. No later, my inhibitions about public speaking began melting. Eventually, the day of debate approached. No doubt, countless butterflies were swirling in my stomach as I mounted the stage. But miraculously, my fears vanished as I started speaking. The big rounds of applause from the audience kept echoing in my ears. I had held the crowd by storm. Certainly, it was a eureka moment in my life.

Email: shiv.sethi@ymail.com

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