HYDERABAD: Over time, men have been taught to embody responsibility and strength, both emotionally and physically. However, in their pursuit of being exemplary in various roles — sons, brothers, partners, and fathers — they often sideline self-expression and self-care, neglecting the legitimacy of their own emotions. This oversight isn’t always deliberate but often a consequence of societal expectations.
The National Crime Records Bureau starkly highlights a male-to-female ratio of 72.5:27.4 among suicide victims in 2021, underscoring the higher prevalence of male suicides. Fostering open dialogues can significantly contribute to understanding and supporting men in navigating the challenges they encounter. As November is dedicated to Men’s Mental Health Awareness, CE engaged individuals from diverse professions to glean insights into this matter and unravel the persisting taboos that affect men in today’s society.
Navigating the Expectations of Men
“The pivotal role played by men for ages has always been commendable, As a leader, protector, breadwinner, and the key decision-maker, financial planners, and future planners. But all these can be attributed to their advantage of physical as well as more social abilities. Men are expected to exhibit courage and fearlessness and tackle stressors at times of need. Delivering such responsibilities with no complaints put across is the real challenge more men face now, as they boast taking the onus. The flip side of the story, ‘Failures are not accepted from men,’ the biggest taboo men face currently. Men are not allowed to exhibit cowardice, and they can’t be low, however serious problems they come across. They are taken for granted when it comes to handling stress, and no fiasco is acceptable. Men are allowed to have failures, and it’s ok to seek help. This pent-up frustration adds to humongous impulsive decisions and incalculable risks. This super perfect hypothetical picture of a man is the biggest stress, a man takes on him by default or forced by virtue of being men. Off late, it’s time men ‘take a chill pill’ and let women switch shoulders in various aspects if not all. Women currently are no inferior to men in almost everything, it’s time for men to relax instead of chest-thumping and take the onus of the lock stock and barrel. ‘Take help when needed,’ confess or admit when not possible, discuss with the counterparts, together we might win the battle.”
Dr Jagadeesh Kumar V, Senior consultant physician
Beyond Gender Stereotypes
I am reminded of the importance of inclusivity and recognition of diverse culinary talents of all individuals in the industry. I want to focus my energy on fostering creativity in the culinary landscape where gender stereotypes do not dictate one’s proficiency and where passion, perseverance, and dedication shine through the cuisine they specialise in.
Chef Meet Shah Brand Manager
Breaking Barriers in Communication
“It’s nice to celebrate a month across the globe, exclusively for men. It makes us feel special and celebrated. As a stylist, I had to work on making my women clientele feel comfortable, free, and openly communicate their thoughts, expectations, and requirements when I work with them. So breaking the ice, building rapport, and creating that comfort zone vibe with them to communicate freely is a challenge. I have mastered that art in due time. Men in our traditional Indian culture are conditioned not to show their nervousness, tears, or signs of grief and distress. It’s a taboo. That I think needs to change. We men are human after all. We undergo all these ranges of emotions. We need to express ourselves, need a patient ear to share our feelings with and also require good counsel from our family, friends, and relatives in times of need.”
Sanjay David, Stylist
A Call for Genuine Equality
“I believe it’s a matter of pride that the world now celebrates Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. The essence and significance are beautiful on Women’s Day, but true equality is achieved when both men and women are given equal rights and dignity. When a woman and a man are afforded the same priority, that’s genuine equality. While I haven’t personally faced challenges, societal norms still persist, like the acceptance of women wearing pants and shirts but reluctance when a man wears a saree or makes it look like a dhoti.
I haven’t been invited to a women’s forum to discuss women’s issues, it’s obvious right. I find certain gestures, for instance, opening doors, being chivalrous, respecting, and greeting women are considered norms. However, I believe these acts of kindness shouldn’t be limited to men. Women can also open doors, pull chairs, and show chivalry towards men. We are beyond the 22nd century, and I think it’s high time we talk about men’s equality. It is important to understand that both are equally important in each other’s lives, creating a balance that is crucial for our progress.”
Shravan Kummar, fashion designer
Breaking Stereotypes with Humour
“The one major man-centric challenge I face is premature balding. But also- in our patriarchal system, we still call it being the ‘man of the house’. That’s not fair to the men who feel the constant pressure to take charge- or to the women and homemakers who are equally and actively taking charge. One taboo we face today is that ‘men aren’t supposed to cry’.
Showing emotion is sometimes considered a weakness, not just for men. I’ve found crying to be quite cathartic- it’s been amazing to let the tears flow during my therapy sessions. Some tears to let out the pain, others because of how much I have to pay the therapist per hour! But in all seriousness, I find the ‘Ardhanarishvara’ form of Shiva (half man, half woman) to be the most elegant answer. We have both male and female energies, and our endeavour should be to find balance between them. If we can spread awareness of this belief then we would be in a much better place!”
Avinash Agarwal, comedian