What is Success? How can I measure it all the time? Deep Thinker
Dear Readers,
I can confidently conclude that, this question is one that has plagues the minds of all of us. Young or Old, Employed Or Unemployed, Leader or Manager... Anyone and everyone, definitely at some point in their life would have definitely pondered upon this fact. As simple as is seems, it’s actually a pretty complex equation if we break it down to different factors involved in it. On a general note SUCCESS is usually defined as “The accomplishment of an aim or purpose”, but what is your aim? What is your purpose?
Another definition of success is “The correct or desired result of an attempt” this is where the question arises of what, according to you is “Correct or Desired?”
The point I’m trying to make is that SUCCESS is “SUBJECTIVE” i.e. different people have different aims/goals, and SUCCESS according to an individual is always DYNAMIC as our desires change consistently.
Now let me make the whole equation simple, in my opinion SUCCESS is the result of your DESIRES according to your level of MOTIVATION & is finally determined by your level of SATISFACTION.
I say DESIRES & not WANTS or NEEDS because, Needs & wants are also a part of your desires. How...? For example, a poor person will feel he’s successful if he’s able to manage to buy a house, but his son would feel successful only when he’s bought a bigger house and a car. Hence desires change from individual to individual & even generation to generation.
I link success with your level of Motivation as, the way a individual measures success is basically based on his level of progress or accomplishment of his goal (be it short term or long term). If we sum up the different theories of motivation, it all bogs down to the simple aspect wherein our Motivation depends on what goal we have accomplished, how long we have taken to achieve it & based on our DRIVE & DETERMINATION... We immediately progress to our next goal.
In simple words, we have basic goals like food, water, clothing etc then we progress to achieving stability and security to maintaining our basic needs by earning and having a stable job. Then once that is done, we want to focus on becoming popular or have a social circle and gain recognition etc and to maintain that social status we strive hard to sustain and maintain the status once that’s done, we finally focus on our Spiritual Goals. Hence Success also is directly proportional to the LEVEL OF SATISFACTION an individual possesses .
Always remember, It’s YOU & ONLY YOU who can determine and measure YOUR SUCCESS. STOP COMPARING yourself to others and demotivate yourself saying that you’re not successful or allow others to determine how successful you are. Have Practical & achievable goals that’ll maintain your Motivation which will also ensure that you have fun doing it.
With Regards,darsh Basavaraj The Coach
I am a 11th standard student and I don’t have good friends. I've tried to hurt myself lots of times because I feel depressed that I don;t have the kind of friends that people see in the movies. Help me! The Lone Wolf
It happens. But please remember being able to make friends isn’t a big thing. It’s neither a big problem nor a very important thing in life. It’s not worth dying over. The reason why you hurt your body is because of some kind of a guilt that you feel. I want you to understand is that it’s OK to make mistakes. We all make them. That’s what makes us human. Regarding being able to make friendships, don’t worry. It automatically happens. Just be yourself and don’t pretend to be someone else just to make friends. You’ll make true friends then.
My parents are forcing me to get married to a boy who is very dark. This is because he has a lot of money. But I am not interested. Help!
Dark Wedding Woes
I also agree with you. First of all, I’m a person who has always encouraged people not to judge based on looks. So the dark complexion shouldn’t be a Base for you to decide. But deciding to get you married to him just because of his money is unacceptable. My advice to you is to sit with your patents and make them understand that money will not keep you happy and also if you’re capable of working you can give them confidence that you’ll be able to earn enough of be independent. You make them understand that you need a person who’ll love you first and not just look after you financially
Sir, I broke up with my girlfriend and haven’t had food for the past three days. Help me get over her. Jeevan Mantra
You have such a nice name... Jeevan! Zindagi Bindaas Jee Le Mere Yaar! Jeevan Naam Rakh ke... MARAN ke route mein kyun jaa rahe ho Yaar? Breakup hogaya toh? You should be much happier because you can go out and meet many other friends and will also know what kind of a girl to become serious with now. It’s a good lesson and God has saved you Yaar. If You don’t eat... She’ll not come back... Has she stopped eating? No right! Be a Mard... Go and patao a better girl and make her regret for leaving you. Study well get a good job and show her how successful you can be! That’s my boy! Be a person who’ll say “Jeena hai to Jeevan jaisa Jeena hai” not act like a loser just because one girl left you. Remember there are a lot of girls, you’ll meet the right one when the time is right.
How do you know when a boy really loves a girl?
Finding Fanny
This is a question that plagues every guy or gal.
It’ll be too tough to tell the signs of you being in love without understanding how your partner is behaving. Irrespective of you being a guy or gal, here are some common points that indicate that a person is in true love.
1. The first sign of true love is if a person is irritated with you, but shows the irritation to the rest of the world and is still trying to be nice to you... To a level. But you still know that he is still irritated.
2. If he just can’t sleep without talking to you and always ensures that you both at least have a brief conversation.
3. Is ever ready to do something that you need, I’m trying to tell you that if he considers you FIRST PRIORITY & puts your needs first.
My brother is 18 and is preparing for his board exams. He is always angry on everyone at home, even when we suggest something to him. What should we do now Sir? Cranky Bro
Here’s my advice.
Whoever is very close to him, even if it is you, sit with him one day on a casual note, and talk to him in a very friendly manner and make him open up about what is actually troubling him. For this exercise to be successful, you need to be able to bring him to a point where he completely opens up and expresses what his issues are. through. At this point he just needs a support system
Need help in dedicating time for studies as I am working in an insurance company and I do not get time for preparations Double Agent
Let me be a little rash with you. I really don’t agree with people when they say that they don’t have time to dedicate towards a particular goal or task. Why? Because it’s all about priorities. I’ll understand and agree if your work pressure is too much. That’s when you’ll definitely have to make time for yourself and focus on your preparations. You’ll definitely have to sacrifice anything that is taking up your time and focus. By this I mean, No Parties, No meeting friends after work, or even sitting in office unnecessarily. Another tip is, please carry your books with you always and break down what you need to study into smaller pieces and finish studying. If nothing is working, I’m sorry to say my friend that you’ll need to take off or even a break as your exams approach and finish your exams and rejoin work if possible
Hi, I am Sabari and I am pursuing Engineering. Whenever I am in a class, I feel sleepy. Please help me with some solutions Sleepy Head
I think you’re eating too much, or your classes are very comfortable. On a serious note, this happens when you’re not interested in what you’re studying also. I’m also sure that you’re sitting in the last benches and hard to spot. Firstly, start sitting in the first bench or first couple of benches. Usual automatically be awake to not get thrown out by your lecturers. You practice this for three weeks and you’ll not sleep in class. Secondly, stop surfing the Internet or talking/chatting/watching movies or whatever late nights, as when you don’t get enough sleep. Your body tried to compensate it here. Finally, start writing keywords during classes, whether you read them later or not, you’ll automatically learn and also be awake. You’re achieving two things in one go.
I am desperately trying to get a government job. When I see my friends landing jobs in the private sector, I feel ashamed of myself Peer Pressure
At least be happy that you gave it your best. It worked... Or didn’t work... That’s secondary. Coming to your friends... You have no idea how people even today look at me and say “I earn 2 Lakhs a month minimum and you earn in thousands what’s the point?” I just tell them... “I’m 100% Happy... Are you?”... What I’m trying to tell you is that... Even I get reactions from my friends in spite of achieving and coming to a level. So it’s just a phase of life. People will talk about you, whether you achieve or not, so stop giving importance to your friends now. In fact you’ll also come to know who your true friends are. Strategise and see what you can do, first take up a job and get busy.
I’m a III year Engineering student. I was supposed to graduate by 2013 but I’ve lost 7 years already. There are a few papers that I’ve not able to clear since then. I’m not sure If I’ll be able to clear them in time Needs a Push
In your case, I think I’ll have to be a little brutal. You have already wasted enough time and judging by your performance, it doesn’t look too promising. You’ll have to take up another course whichever you are Interested in and which is easy. Also look at Correspondence Courses that have value and in parallel do a certification course that you’re interested in. Once you finish your certification in any course that you like. Once this is done, you can search for opportunities to start working.