Peace and contentment should first arise in the family. Only then can we see them dawn in the world. We cannot get real peace from the world, but only from God. To be free from sorrow, we have to hold fast to God. We must regard God as our closest friend and support. Our culture teaches us that divinity exists not only in humans but also in cows, dogs, cats, birds and all plant forms as well. If we are able to see God in everything, where is the place for hatred or enmity?
When we realise that all love—whether from a husband, wife, child, animal rearing its young, or a plant —is from the one and only God, our love will begin to radiate light and coolness, just like moonlight. This is the understanding that we should cultivate for the harmony of family and social life.
Family problems—90 per cent of physical or mental problems—are basically caused by past wounds and sorrows. Each one of us is labouring under the burden of many such festering wounds. The way to heal them is to open up our hearts and share whatever is within us with one another—the wife with the husband, and the husband with the wife. Some of Amma’s male children do not pay much attention to their wives when the wives unburden their hearts. The men see women as mere weaklings. They think that there is nothing worthy in women’s words. Not that there is no frailty in women; there is. Each one has his or her unique nature. It is the duty of the father and mother to raise the child, understanding its nature. Some women are weak; they give too much importance to insignificant things, even cry when they talk about these things. But we are born and live for love. Therefore, men should be prepared to spend some time listening to their wives’ problems and vice versa.
Generally, women are not able to keep their emotions to themselves. Men, on the other hand, will contain their emotions as far as possible. But they should listen to what women have to say and not see women as objects of sensual enjoyment or servants. It is because the husbands do not do this that wives seek someone else to open up to. In the same way, a woman should try to understand her husband’s heart. If she does not do so, the husband will also turn to someone else to whom he can pour out his heart. Suppose the husband comes home after having been told off by his boss. If, at that time, the wife receives him with a face full of anger, he will become even more upset. As such, on her part, the wife should try to understand her husband’s state of mind. In this way, by opening up and sharing our feelings with one another, we can arrive at a solution to our problems. When we increase mutual trust and love, our problems will decrease. Conversely, when trust and love decrease, problems increase.
It is said that women should have three roles: that of the mother, wife and lover. Likewise, men also must fulfil their dharma. Love is the basis of life. But we are knowingly or unknowingly resisting or rejecting it. Therefore, we should love one another and become one. When we say, “I love you,” there are two: “I” and “you.” Therefore, we need to have the attitude that “I am love.” If we nourish this attitude, we will be able to love everyone.
Everyone talks about equality between men and women. But in real life, we do not experience this. In most places and spheres, women are denied an equal footing. Striving to achieve social advancement while neglecting the cause of women is like trying to fly with only one wing. In the same way, it is not by imitating the men externally that women can achieve equality. Without forsaking their natural qualities, women should try to cultivate discrimination, decisiveness and other masculine qualities. Woman is the mother of man. God has bestowed upon women a divine gift given to none other —motherhood. To lose this and gain everything else is futile. Therefore, women should have patience. It is the patience of women that is responsible for our social harmony, even today. A woman’s patience can even uplift a country. Because she has been blessed with the power to create, a woman has the ability to forbear and love. Indian girls should have the self-reliance of the Western women and the samskara (ethos) of the Indian woman within. We must never forfeit our culture.
The writer is a world-renowned spiritual leader