In life, one can be “self-oriented”, “other-oriented”, or “life-oriented”.
Self-oriented people are those whose lives revolve only around themselves and their ego. Their thinking, feelings, and expectations are directed solely towards personal benefit. While this may appear natural, it is ultimately unwise. Such an attitude traps a person within the confines of the self, creating separation from others. This separation gives rise to conflict, isolation, and suffering. Thereafter, one seeks escape from this pain through pleasure and the fulfilment of desires and ambitions. The life of Duryodhana in the Mahabharata illustrates this clearly.
People who live entirely for others are “other-oriented”. Such individuals constantly measure what they are losing or sacrificing for others. They spend their lives trying to please people and seek appreciation or approval. They remain overly conscious of what others think or feel about them. Bhishma from the Mahabharata was a classic example of this way of living. His entire life was devoted to Hastinapur. Yet, living solely for others is neither healthy nor wise.
A deeper understanding of the scriptures encourages us to lead a “life-oriented” life. To give importance to life means to embrace both oneself and others. A life-oriented person lives expansively and is therefore never trapped by life. Such a person seeks to add life to years rather than merely years to life. For this to happen, one must become sensitive rather than sentimental. Sentimentality is merely reacting to life, whereas sensitivity is the ability to experience the richness of life fully.
To experience the richness of life, the centre of one’s life must be belief. Doubt may exist at the circumference, but it cannot occupy the centre. One’s beliefs may be either positive or negative. If a person holds negative beliefs, then actions naturally arise from those beliefs and become fragmented. Fragmented actions lack power and resourcefulness.
Why is this so? Reflect on the nature of belief itself. Belief is a sense of certainty. Its root lies in being certain. Certainty leaves no room for doubt. When an action arises from such certainty, it becomes strong and focused. Thus, belief is a powerful sense of certainty, whether positive or negative.
For example, if someone believes that “life is miserable”, then that person becomes certain of it. Their entire life gradually becomes oriented towards proving that conclusion. Observe carefully how the mind functions. To support that belief, the person constantly searches for evidence, actions, and justifications that reinforce it. As a result, their actions are no longer free; they become conditioned and bound by that belief.
There was a study conducted at an American university that illustrates this point well. A hospital patient was handed a container for a urine sample. After the nurse left the room, the patient secretly filled the container with orange juice instead. When the nurse returned to collect it, the patient stopped her and drank from the same container. Believing it contained urine, the nurse was so shocked that she fainted. What caused her reaction was not reality itself, but her belief about what the container held.
One should therefore never underestimate the power of belief. More importantly, one must learn to observe and consciously reshape beliefs regarding the self, wealth, relationships, happiness, and work. Are these beliefs positive or negative? One must transform the destructive voice of judgement into a constructive voice of empowerment.