Most of us have seen the Ramayana on TV. If asked how Rama and Sita got married, we would all say the same thing: Janak, the King of Mithila, had organised a grand swayamvar for his daughter, Sita. Kings from all over had come to Mithila’s court. Rama and Lakshmana were also present, along with Rishi Vishvamitra. Announcements were made that Sita would marry the suitor who could lift and string a divine Shiva bow, a family heirloom of Mithila’s royal dynasty. One by one, the kings tried to lift the bow, but none could even move it. When they all gave up, King Janak lamented that the Earth had become devoid of heroes. This enraged Lakshmana, who stood up and chastised Janak for uttering such words in a gathering where the scion of the Raghu dynasty, Rama, was present. Rishi Vishvamitra pacified Lakshmana and signalled to Rama to try his hand. With his guru’s permission, Rama calmly rose and approached the bow. After respectfully bowing to it, he lifted it. As he bent it to string it, it broke into two. With his condition met, Janak offered Sita’s hand to Rama.
You might be surprised to know that this account of the swayamvar does not come from the Valmiki Ramayana. It comes instead from Tulsidas’s Ramcharitmanas, written thousands of years later. If we look into its origins, we can see that the word swayamvar is made up of two Sanskrit words: swayam (self) and var (choice). Swayamvar, thus, refers to a form of marriage in which the bride chooses the groom herself. However, Sita’s marriage does not meet this criterion. She was bound by the rule to marry the suitor who lifted and strung the bow; she had no choice in the matter. So, what is the proper term to describe this marriage?
Let us turn to the Valmiki Ramayana. It does not mention a swayamvar being organised by Janak. It says that Rama and Lakshmana had accompanied Rishi Vishvamitra to the forest to eliminate the rakshasas who were disrupting his rituals. After completing this task, he took them to Mithila. Rishi Vishvamitra introduced them to Janak and requested that he show the Shiva bow to the princes. Janak told them of his resolution to bestow Sita as viryashulka upon the suitor who could lift and string the bow. Viryashulka is also made up of two Sanskrit words: virya (valour) and shulka (price). This refers to the practice of bestowing a bride upon the suitor who could pay the price through his valour by fulfilling whatever condition had been set by the bride’s father. This is, therefore, a more accurate description of Rama and Sita’s marriage as compared to the popular term swayamvar.