It’s really amazing to see how a relationship evolves. Both the man and the woman resort to various means to attract the partner and keep them hooked. In a recent episode of a popular TV show, an actor-cum-producer told the anchor how her husband had wooed her with her favourite food item. He had known her weakness for this delicacy and had presented her with a big pack of sonpapdi before formally proposing to her.
In the yesteryear Tamil movies, we will invariably see the husband, tough on the exterior with his strictness and the big moustache, trying to woo his lady love with a small string of jasmine flowers and 200 grams of halwa. In my case it was a toffee—Coffee Bite—and it is Snickers now and will continue to be so till I become diabetic, I suppose. In the initial years of our marriage, whenever we had a fight, after cooling off and instead of saying ‘I am sorry’, my husband would hand over four (yes, just four!) Coffee Bites and would walk off! That too, after deftly pocketing one for himself! Everything would be fine with my world then. It must have been a great relief for him that he was not called on to perform superhuman tasks to keep me in good humour.
It always amazes me how God has instilled such instincts in all living things. If we think of Mother Nature, we will realise that it is not humans alone who try to please their mates in whatever way possible. Even the tiny birds are no exception. Thus we have the male of certain species of birds building attractive nests to woo and lure a mate.
He wants to win her by any means, showing off his health and strength, impressing upon the female that he is the most suitable one around. Compared to their fascinating courtship rituals, our attempts seem boring. Our winged friends dance to original beats and even change their voice from a low coo to a whirring call. We mostly don’t resort to such gimmicks, for, unlike the other species, mating and reproducing are not the only goals of our relationships. We need emotional fulfilment too.
Recently after a tiff, my husband, as usual, handed over a small wrapped-up package, with a curt, “For you. Ideal for you.” To my dismay I found no Coffee Bites or Snickers inside but only powdered flax seeds. Somebody had told me flax seeds are good for cholesterol. Cholesterol is also known as kozhuppu which can mean self-conceit. Ideal for me indeed!
Lalitha Ramakrishnan
Email: maashu1@gmail.com