Narendra Modi landed in Bengal. And said Didi’s development model was no good. Har Har had no clue he was making a Brien-frying statement. He had outraged Derek O’Brien, Mamata Banerjee’s Manus Shukrawar, who promptly described him as ‘the Butcher of Gujarat’. In his Bournvita days, Brien was a quiz master, asking people such difficult questions as “Who was Bengal’s first governor general?” (Answer: Barren Hastings, known outside Bengal as Warren Hastings.)
Elsewhere, Priyanka Gandhi was saying nasty things about NaMo’s chest size. Arun Jaitley, whose gentle aggression makes you want to call him Jait Lee, was warning Robert Vadra, ‘Better fear the law’. All that we understand. All’s fair in love and Varanasi. But suddenly, the Trinamool Congress has brought Modi’s wife, poor thing living in obscurity, into all this.
“Modiji couldn’t take care of his wife. How will he take care of the country?” Didi’s party wants to know. Silence. One single question has turned NaMo into MoMo (Mouni Modi). See, he is great at martial arts, but he can’t handle the marital arts.
Honeymoon Baba
That brings us to Baba Ramdev. He has landed in trouble for saying Rahul Gandhi visits Dalit homes for honeymoons and picnics. Is this the way a holy man talks? (Okay, stop calling him a poli man).
The Congress is asking how a celibate who has renounced the world knows about honeymoons and picnics. As if Congress netas who have renounced corruption don’t privately know about Swiss bank accounts. Mayawati wants to haul him to court for insulting Dalits.
But the BJP has stepped in to defend him, saying his English is a bit shaky. He meant honeymoon period or something like that, not honeymoon, it seems. Innocent Ramdev. Next, they’ll say he thought Honey was the name of some singer who moons. You know Yo Yo Honey Singh, don’t you?
That Punjabi guy who composes gems like Lungi dance lungi dance? Baba Ramdev meant to say Rahul Gandhi listens to Honey’s mooning songs when he goes visiting Dalit homes. Wink Wink Baba. Ayyayyo Honey Singh.