She knows pain. That deep ache inside her soft heart that craves freedom calls out to her every morning, when all else is still submerged in the sleepy shadows of quietude. The pain wakes her up, but at other times, it takes her deeper into her restless state. All the confidence you see in her today is because of the many times she’s fallen hard, but still had the courage to dust herself up and get going. For painter, muralist and, most importantly, a free thinker, Dhaarna, who prefers to use just her first name, the ecstasy of tasting creative and personal liberation each day is a prerequisite of living a meaningful life. Presently, she’s working on a range of artworks that will be exhibited in the first week of December, but in the interim, her assignments for private entities keep her busy.
No matter how short the deadline of submission, Dhaarna doesn’t make a routine of painting everyday. “It all starts with an ehsaas (feeling). It’s only when inspiration comes to me that I pick up the brush and sit to start painting,” she says, adding, “Just like love, art cannot be forced. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen.”
The wait is never too long either. Inspiration often comes when she is left alone to think, feel and act. It could be going for a walk, or taking a short holiday. It could be sitting and having a cup of tea in her own company, or reading a book without interruption. “I am a free-spirited human being and cannot be tied down. Therefore, I don’t understand any kind of restrictions. Who are we as humans to control the other?” she asks, in a voice louder than usual.
When Dhaarna paints, she is nobody’s daughter, sister, wife or mother. She’s just herself; a woman who needs nobody to depend on, not even somebody like her father, late artist P Khemraj, who she looks up to. “He never wanted me to use his name to get fame and I never have. Never will,” she says.
Interestingly, all her figures are nude. “As soon as you clothe them, they belong to somebody, some place, something...” she believes. It’s that kind of rawness that appeals to her. It makes her art universal, also exceptionally beautiful.
There is a certain amount of detachment evident from the conversation we’ve been having thus far with Dhaarna. “Yeah sab maya hai aur hum iss maya mein phaste chale jate hain (it’s all an illusion and we keep sinking deep into the trap),” she says, with her eyes looking straight into ours. Disassociating herself from the world, people and all the things that transpire around her through the day, Dhaarna has been able to reach a level of peace with herself. It’s allowed her to be her best self.
Sitting besides one of her most sensitive pieces of work, that of a mother holding a child, the artist says she painted this when she was having difficulty conceiving. “It shows craving. It shows angst. As it depicts one of my most intimate moments, it makes the piece extra special,” she says.
Trained in semi-classical music, singing is another facet that the artist prides in. Humming a little bit of ayega ayega aanewala by Lata Mangeshkar, she smilingly tells us that music, just like art, sets her free. “I don’t need an audience to sing to, as I can happily sing for myself,” says Dhaarna, adding, “My music is the perfect antidote to stress and strains of modern-day living.” Her soul witnesses her melodies and her heart beats to its rhythm.