Anyone who had been to a Tamil-Punjabi wedding would testify for the fact that they are poles apart. Of course customs and traditions change, but it is not the only stark contrast in the two cultures. While one is full of pomp and splendour, the other is low key. Punjabi weddings are all about having fun and celebration, while a Tamil wedding is more about customs and rituals.
Such inter-State marriages, offer the best platform for people from two diverse backgrounds to have a glimpse into each other’s culture. However, the exchange doesn’t end there, as it extends for a lifetime.
Vedanth Bharadwaj, a Chennai-based musician married to a Punjabi says, “I really like the spirit of Punjabis, especially, their attitude towards life. Whatever they do, they are generous about it. They don’t measure anything. They are lavish in showering love on people who matter a lot to them. If it is food, then it is a feast for them. When they spend money, they don’t measure the spending as well.”
Bharadwaj, who is married to Neha, a Punjabi, for the last two-and-a-half years adds, “My wife is more Tamilian than Punjabi. Having been raised in the South, she is steeped in the culture of the city. Even her meals are mostly vatha kuzhambu, aviyal and rasam.”
For Sumeet Kharbanda, a Chennai -bred Punjabi married to a Tamilian, the culture give and take is the reverse.
Kharbanda points to the subtle cultural similarities, in terms of festivals.
“The Punjabi New Year that marks the festival of harvest coincides with the Tamil New Year. While Punjabis celebrate Lohri, Tamilians mark Bogi on more or less the same day,” he adds.
Ramesh Lamba, secretary, Punjab Association, says the Punjabi community is probably the only community to go in for such inter-State marriages the most. “I have an instance in my own family and there are several such families in the city. Punjabis have always been open to adopting the Tamil culture here and it is no wonder that there have been marriages between Tamilians and Punjabis in the city,” he says.