Not all journeys are about becoming something new; some are about unbecoming everything we are not.”
This is how Karthikeya Vajpai introduced his book, The Unbecoming, to readers at a recent event held at The Hyacinth Hotel, Thiruvananthapuram. He further spoke about what his book says about being present, creative honesty, and living authentically in a fast-paced modern life.
A Delhi-based lawyer-turned-writer and a national-level cricketer, Karthikeya currently represents Team India Lawyers at the Lawyers’ Cricket World Cup. Alongside his professional and sporting journeys, he has nurtured a deep spiritual inclination from a young age, influenced by curiosity about presence, awareness, and intuition, an inner journey that remains central to his life.
With his book The Unbecoming, Karthikeya steps beyond professional identities to explore this seeker’s journey.
TNIE had a quick chat with him during his Thiruvananthapuram visit about the book and his approach to spirituality through fiction.
Why the name ‘The Unbecoming’?
Becoming is how you want to be seen in the eyes of the world. Becoming as a pursuit means limiting yourself to an identity, your designation, title, or role. In that process, your sense of self-worth and confidence often depend on how the world treats you. If the world doesn’t acknowledge your accomplishments, your confidence drops.
But unbecoming talks about how your self-worth should come from within, not from external validation. It helps you enter a state of flow, connect with the present moment, and rediscover a dormant quality within you, the seat of completeness. This allows you to take any shape or form that the present moment requires.
Through this book, I am saying that if you embrace the journey of ‘unbecoming’ -- if you stop identifying with roles, titles, and designations -- you will write many chapters of becoming in your life. But if your entire life is about becoming something, you limit your perspective. That is the concept of unbecoming.
You are saying that wisdom comes from ‘unbecoming’ rather than knowing more. For someone beginning an inner journey, what’s the first step?
First, you must understand the difference between intellect and wisdom. Modern education often confuses the two.
Intellect is your cognitive ability. Your capacity to understand, memorise, and analyse. Your resume represents your intellect: what you already know. The phrase “I know” often reflects ego, which is a collection of memories and experiences.
Wisdom, on the other hand, is universal. It belongs to no one. You must become a seeker to access it. Wisdom is intuitive, and it arises when the present moment guides you on what is required of you. That’s why even an uneducated villager can sometimes give deeply wise advice. There’s a saying: “Sometimes, in order to be smart, you forget to be wise”. Every intention has two components: intellect and wisdom. In today’s materialistic society, we rely heavily on intellect and very little on wisdom. Spiritual growth happens when reliance on intellect decreases and reliance on wisdom increases. That is the process of unbecoming.
Why spirituality through fiction?
It would have been easier to write non-fiction. When I spoke directly about philosophy, I realised that people interpret wisdom through their own conditioning. They cherry-pick ideas that suit their ego. That’s why all religions use stories. Hinduism has the Ramayana and the Mahabharata. Buddhism has the story of Siddhartha. Christianity has the story of Jesus. Stories make wisdom relatable without confronting the ego directly.
What is the plot about, and what was your inspiration towards it?
It’s a story of two lead characters, Ajay and Siddhartha. Siddhartha is a cricketer, and Ajay is a coach. Siddhartha is in pursuit of excellence in his action, in his goal, which is cricket. He’s trying to discover what perfection is, and Ajay in the story is a victim of failure and circumstances, so he goes into a hopeless state and is trying to discover what is the purpose of life.
So one person is looking for the purpose of life, the other is looking for perfection, and through their spiritual journey, they both reach a common conclusion.
I chose the story of a cricketer and a coach because sports demand complete presence. A sport is a powerful medium to explain the state of flow and detachment. That doesn’t mean lack of ambition. It means freedom from fear and greed. Fear shifts attention to outcomes; greed imposes desires into reality. Both pull you away from the present moment.
Is the story connected to your own life?
Yes. I started playing professional cricket at 11. Around the same time, my mother introduced me to transcendental meditation. I noticed immediate improvement in my game. I experienced moments of entering “the zone,” but it happened accidentally, not by will.
That question—how to enter that state consciously led me to explore various spiritual traditions: Tibetan Buddhism, Advaita Vedanta, Sufism, and Christian philosophy. All point to the same truth. During silent retreats and especially during covid, I realised I had original insights. That’s when the book began.
Why is failure a better teacher than success?
Success creates attachment. When you succeed once, you assume you already know. Failure forces reflection and a fresh perspective. It brings you closer to reality.
Which chapters are closest to your heart?
One is ‘The Fear of the Unknown’, which explains how uncertainty creates imaginary fear and prevents full presence.
The second is ‘Rest in Action’. It explains how stillness within action creates grace. Dancers, athletes, and anyone seeking perfection needs stillness along with movement.
What kind of readers do you feel would connect with your book?
The book is for anyone dissatisfied with life as it is. Unbecoming is shedding what no longer serves you. That’s a universal experience.